Even though it concerns Koreans I haven’t paid much attention to the stories about the LPGA’s new mandate that it’s golfers must speak passable English. Much of the coverage has seemed to suggest that the decision is xenophobic in nature, which I think is absurd. However, Ray Ratto, a columnist I’ve read off and on since I was a kid, hits on the LPGA’s true motive in this in the article Cut through the language, skin soon in LPGA.

Reflect, if you don’t believe us, on the recent Olympics. What were the two biggest women’s stories as presented by the networks and news outlets? Gymnastics and beach volleyball. Outfits? Tight and skimpy. Men, apparently, don’t need to be as aerodynamic in these very same pursuits, for reasons no coach, expert, pundit or kinesiologist has ever been able to adequately explain without coming off as some kind of white-coated pervert.

I had no idea gymnastics and beach volleyball were so popular in the states, but it makes sense. Of course this happened in tennis a long time ago, and this item has a guy calling for it in table tennis. And then of course there’s billiards.

For the sake of Koreans and Korea I hope it’s not explicitly part of the LPGA’s thinking, and Ratto himself doesn’t have the guts to suggest this, but I’d put money down that it’ll be a Korean that is the first to make this leap. Michelle Wie has already dabbled.  Non-Korean Natalie Gulbis has already made a full-on attempt. But frankly, niether of them are attractive enough to push it over the top.

Funny enough, I came across this article from 2003, where Jan Stephenson, who also tried to bridge the sex+golf gap in her “heyday”, complains about female Asian golfers “killing” the LPGA tour.

“Absolutely killing it. Their lack of emotion, their refusal to speak English when they can speak English. They rarely speak. We have two-day pro-ams where people are paying a lot of money to play with us, and they say hello and goodbye. Our tour is predominantly international and the majority of them are Asian. They’ve taken it over.”

Shortly after these comments were made public, the media went into a tizzy, perhaps giving Stephenson what she really wanted. More publicity. After all, she is the same woman who posed for a revealing calendar, had a poster available of herself in a wet T-shirt, and was photographed in a tub filled with golf balls. She was once known as the LPGA’s sex kitten and still advocates the idea that female golfers need to exploit their looks, even expressing disappointment at golfer Jill McGill’s decision to turn down an opportunity to pose for Playboy.

“We have to promote sex appeal,” said Stephenson in the same interview. “It’s a fact of life. The people who watch are predominantly male, and they won’t keep watching if the girls aren’t beautiful.”

Ironically, I think you’re going to get your wish Jan, despite being wrong about Asian women on the tour. Funny how things work out sometimes.