Every baseball season I have a mental list of things I’d like to see happen. Naturally, being a Reds fan the team’s success is at the top of my list. Since that has only happened during in my lifestory I have to find other things to root for. Sadly, these concern my fantasy baseball team. So I end up spending a lot of time hoping certain players I’d attached myself to preform well. That way we both win.

I don’t root for players to get hurt. Yet, I will admit can be something of a sadist when it comes to following things   like baseball and politics that unfold via broadcasted image. For example, I really enjoyed the White Sox having such a poor 2007. I don’t like Ozzie Guillen because I don’t like people who run around telling everyone they’re crazy. To me that’s the sign of a person who isn’t the slightest bit crazy and in general I usually think the world can use a little more craziness.

My point, if you’re still with me, is that I’m really hoping Roger Clemens makes an attempt to play baseball this season. Not because I want him to get injured, but because I’m pretty sure he’d fail. And I’d like to see that happen in the face of his unrelatnting arrogance in regard to this steroid stuff.

My flight of fancy took a short step toward becomming true when Roger showed up at the Astros minor league camp with son Koby, predictably pretending as if he hasn’t just made a mockery of the American justice system and the United States Congress over the past couple weeks.  Pretending that his guilt doesn’t flesh out an ugly proof-positive that race has a drastic effect on how a American man’s guilt or innocence  is manifested in the public eye (I’m talking Barry Bonds here).

I know  those are  strong statements, and it’s probably still a little early to write things like that, but deep down I believe them to be true. I don’t think Clemens will ever come clean about using steroids. I think he’ll pretty much do what he’s been doing since the Mitchell Report came out. Some people, like the starry-eyed congressmen who shook his hand and asked for his autograph prior to his testimony two weeks ago, will play along with Clemens, and others won’t. But what can anyone do? It’s possible that eventually someone who has a lot of money will make Clemens a target and try to prove once and for all that he did it, but it won’t be satisfying to anyone. He won’t admit to anything and the situation will disapear like this supposed photographic evidence that places him at the Canceco-hosted party — that two weeks ago was the proof that McNamee’s story was false.

Here’s another idea, if you want to call it an idea, conceived by the New York Times — to test the needles, syringes, gauze pads and vials that McNamee “turned over to federal authorities contain Clemens’s DNA or traces of steroids or human growth hormone.” Duh.

But I don’t think it will work. I think Clemens is a just a tributary on the steroid river of denial. He’s the sideshow at the circus. The baseball powers that be are just about ready for this to be over. Clemens  was more or less the supposed fall guy and things have nearly run its course as far as the baseball industry is concerned. The season is starting. Time’s up.

If Clemens ever did stand trial for purgery, and somehow went to jail for lying under oath it wouldn’t be satisfying. It would be sort of like watching the replay of Clemens throwing the half-bat at Mike Piazza during the 2000 World Series, while hearing a soundbyte of Clemens denying he threw the bat at Piazza. It’s obvious he did it, but the fact that he doesn’t think he did it may as well mean he didn’t do it. In fact, if Clemens did go to jail I think part of me would even feel a little sorry for the guy.

But if Clemens tries to take the field in 2008 it’ll be one last chance to see him fail in his own language. It’ll show that, as arrogant and selfish as he is in regards to what truth is, that the meaning of the word can’t just be changed by putting your foot to the floor of your Hummer. If Clemens comes back one more time it will disproportionatly stand for what he did throughout his career. It won’t erase his accomplishments, but people will wonder why he could’t do it after the issue was raised. The fact that he’s in his mid-40s is beside the point.

If you don’t like Clemens you couldn’t ask for anything more. You can only hope his immense ego manifests itself just one more time. Come on Roger. Do it.