Our quest to bring you the most up to date in baseball statistics from the Japanese, Taiwanese, and Korean leagues often brings us to sites that, um, push the limits of our language abilities. One example of this is a Japanese page of 2005 Leaders from the Central League, and in a lazy attempt to Google the names and stat categories on the page, got some rather interesting results. Either the Google translation page isn’t a Japanese baseball fan, or the ghost in the machine is a clever dadaist genius. Judge for yourself…

Stat categories included: Nothing Four Sphere, It is Cheap Hitting, Reason Mind Four, Death Sphere, Violence/Exposing Throwing, Our Criticism Point.

Certain player names were correctly translated, such as Daisuke Miura. Other pitchers names were not as accurate: SP Gate Warehouse Health, RP Hukuhara Patience, SP Furthermore Takahashi forming, SP Ishikawa elegance correcting/rule, RP Forest 昌 example, and SP Akira Igarashi it is thick, who finished with 1 death sphere and 22 our criticism point on the season.

The entire page in its majestic splendor can be seen here: